" Sprite slicing its way to disease"
Looking down on a pond of life
While drinking one full cup full of sprite
The difference in which they behold
Is that one sustains life
While the other is grasping a knife
Slicing its way to disease
Distorting everything in which you can’t see
The temple of your body
Mistreated
With all of its spirituality
It Taste so good
It Feel so good
But the reality is
It Aint so good
Exploding all of its power into your stomach
Just like a nuclear weapon that is atomic
Say goodbye to the beat of your heart
Because now you just took it apart
You’re fighting your way, so you could stay
Potentially being your last day
But yet you hold on with a little bit of faith
Since tomorrow is your birthday
It hurts so much
Can’t say too much
Can’t feel my touch
I regret this F***k
How could I’ve been fooled so easily?
Was I clearly too drunk to even see?
Was I clearly too drunk to even see?
That although sprite felt so right
GMO products were destroying the best of me
Gaining conscious and awareness
Although my circulation is still airless
Starting to feel helpless
My change could have been enormous
My change could have been enormous
The lights are off
The light are on
The lights are out
Now Im out
For starters your Title was very captivating just but reading your title you had my attention. I feel the title always has a very important role in a poem. Great poem I enjoyed the vocabulary you used expressing your dislikes of sprite and how truly toxic it is to the body. Your second stanza made it clear what in your opinion the soda sprite can do to our body’s which I agree couldn’t have been said any better. Your lines “Lights off Lights On Lights Out Now I’m Out” I felt were the “Icing to the cake” closing out this poem like that made it show how bad you portray sprite to be and how much damage it can cause to a person.
ReplyDeleteI love how the title basically summarizes the whole poem. This person is very creative going into detail about sprite, as well as using personification and rhymes. When I looked at my cup of sprite I had no idea what I could even write about. I love how descriptive this is on how harmful Sprite can be but doesn't really fully explain why Sprite in general is bad although instead compares it to other bad things such as a nuclear weapon.I also appreciate the transitions in this poem as well as the ended. Its very natural with a rhythm.
ReplyDeleteI love how deep you went with this. Soda is indeed unhealthy but I never thought of death with it until reading this poem. You really captured the darkness of Sprite with lines such as, “say goodbye to the best of your heart, because now you just took it apart” and making it sound like it’s a poison/a murderer. Comparisons like that really drew me in and made me stop looking at Sprite as just a soda. You ended this poem with the soda winning and the narrator dead and I found myself hoping the narrator can conquer this addiction and was upset they didn’t. You did well with captivating the reading, well done!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the clear viewpoints the author has on Sprite. I loved the comparison between toxins and Sprite itself but didn't truly understand the reasoning of how its harmful. In Line's 27-28 I liked how the author compared the addiction towards Sprite like a drunk is addicted to alcohol. The ending to me was very impactful since the person had died due to the toxins of Sprite.
ReplyDeleteI love the analogies in this poem and how you compared Sprite to pretty much a death sentence. I also like how you touched upon other issues, such as addiction to soft drinks which many people face - this felt like a social commentary as well as a poem. I especially loved the last lines and the significance they held as the person dies due to the unhealthy addiction of Sprite; I also like how you were able to write this and essentially describe the way an addict's mind would work. It was very gritty but a great poem.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I absolutely adore the tittle it is quite captivating. It leaves the reader intrigued to find out more. The word play is very clever. I also appreciate your way of showing how the beverage is not only something to be enjoyed but it also comes with it's very own side affects.
ReplyDelete